Learn from My Mistakes - Volume 1: Dirty Rabbits & Poor Timing
Starting in 2012, and a bit in delay, I’m ging to list a few lessons I learned each week and publish them. Hopefully you can take these lessons and avoid the consequences that I have suffered and will continue to suffer!
LESSONS LEARNED FOR THE WEEK OF JANUARY 30th, 2012.
1. Do not use Task Rabbit for ‘Creative’ Tasks. In this case, “create an eye-popping and stimulating sponsorship deck with beautiful imagery.”
2. Do not book an appointment with your lawyer at 4pm on a Friday.
3. Do not try and flag an uptown cab from Soho at 5pm on a Friday.
4. Do not show up to do your grocery shopping the day before the Super Bowl.
Remembering a Psychotherapeutic Email
Being an entrepreneur has so many self-empowering aspects. Being fooled because you begin a venture too trusting is not one of them.
After 4 years of drudging through the start-up space trying to change/shift/revolutionize one of the world’s most important & obstinate industries (employment), we’ve had to deal with some really annoying, shitty and contemptible people. People that (try to) sell you their bullshit story, while spitting food particles in your face with the lunch you got suckered into buying them.
Throughout the learning stages, my partners and I have been bamboozled by politicians, failed entrepreneurs, sociopaths, psychopaths, has-beens and never-will-bes. Finally, in response to an email of exceptional generality and obscene self-evaluative pricing, I needed to break free and share my mind. This email was a first…a start…an evolution in the lives of young entrepreneurs.
BTW, that ‘don’t burn any bridges’ rule is bullshit if it means standing up for something. I’ll blog about that another day.
Lesson: In your startup, engage with anyone and everyone via a referral. We’ve exercised this rule in our new startup, and life is much more efficient & rewarding.
The Story:
A little over a year ago, we were running out of capital and our business was not moving fast enough in the direction of our vision. We knew we needed more money to change gears a bit, and we were open to meeting people that could help. After doing a presentation at a Long Island Corporate meet-up, we were approached by a nice-enough fellow who suggested we meet for lunch.
After buying this man lunch (he didn’t offer to even pay his share) and discussing superficially where we wanted to take MyWorkster (my first start-up), we sent him an NDA with a request to think about exactly how he can help.
Thus, below is an email exchange between myself and a ‘never-will-be’ trying to finagle money out of starving entrepreneurs.
from mxxxxx@att.net
to tpertew@gmail.com
cc dxx@myworkster.com
date Thu, Jun 25, 2009 at 4:56 PM
subject Re: Hey Mike
Tarek,
It was a pleasure meeting with you the other week.
Thanks for sharing with me about your business. Attached is the signed NDA.
As you requested, I’ve thought about how best I might be able to help you at this juncture point in your business.
It would seem to me that each of you – Doug, Tarek and Jeff must continue to focus on your current areas of responsibility, although I would suggest that Doug should relinquish most of his current responsibilities and concentrate more than ever on raising investor money.
And perhaps, that’s where I might be of assistance.
I often describe myself as both a business catalyst and business strategist. I am the trusted advisor with leverage who brings the glue that connects people and places and makes things happen. I am that fresh set of eyes and ears that help organizations think out of the box when it is necessary.
I’ve been there, done that, and I can bring my experience and expertise and roll up my sleeves and enable teams to solve their issues on both a strategic and tactical level.
Strategically I would help you define, refine, develop the critical success factors and milestones you will need to achieve in order to get to the next level. Specifically I will work with Doug and your advisors to help focus your investment strategy. Tactically, I can assume many of the operational responsibilities for putting together your next series of job fairs which to date has taken so much of Doug’s focus.
Additionally, I can work with both Tarek and Jeff as another brain and pair of hands as the management team continues to lead and the company grows. As you know, sales, marketing, operations and integrating technology, are all activities I am very familiar with.
My deliverables will be tangible – my addition to the team will enable you all to focus on your specific areas and I believe I can help the Company reach its strategic and tactical goals faster with my presence and participation.
I work on a retainer basis for which I would commit approximately 30 hours per month to working with you either remotely or in person as the needs require.
My fee is $5000 per month, to be paid in weekly installments the beginning of each week. I can work both remotely as well as meet with you as required.
I look forward to your response and continuing our conversation. Please let me know what the next step is.
Regards,
Michael
from tpertew@gmail.com
to mxxxxx@att.net
date Thu, Jun 25, 2009 at 9:21 PM
subject Re: Hey Mike
Mike,
I understand that we have begun and extended our relationship quite informally and with cordiality. I expect any future to carry on similarly. However, as far as addressing this particular email, I feel duty bound to my partners and other entrepreneurs who find themselves in a similar situation to express the following thoughts. Although your email could have come as expected considering past experiences, this particular email exceeds such discomforting familiarity. Please note that my intentions in this email are at my utmost levels of professional respect for the industry and business I am in.
I have to assume that Doug and I did not come across clear in our discussion about your contributions to our company. Doug and I certainly did not make a point to suggest a collaborative go forward outside our liberal use of the question “can you bring money to the table?” in response to your question, “what is your immediate need?”. We made it apparent that we had recently brought on two heavy hitting professionals to take the lead on administrative and operative responsibilities. Your email listing your very general contributions suggests that perhaps we were not involved with the same conversation. A conversation, which, at the very most, engaged your desire to work with us after a detailed understanding of your would be contributions to our team. You have, instead, contributed a broad and arbitrary email of abilities coupled with an unwarranted retainer fee, a note that, quite honestly, comes across as an insult to our collective business intelligence. Moreover, your previous email engaging us with a group that, should one understand our company’s goals, would serve as nothing more than a distraction. Although I find your colleagues’ business a worthy endeavor, this unguided introduction is evidence that you do not currently understand our business and the direction of its successful future. We certainly appreciate the time it takes to learn a business model, but much before a remote exchange of services takes place, especially at the price you’ve offered.
Mike, should you have approached us with a detailed and performance based proposal, justifying your great persistence and our efforts to spend time speaking with you, rather than a broad and minimal outline in exchange for significant fees, we would have been in a much more gracious position to entertain an extension of our dialog.
To give you an idea of just how seemingly high your fee is, our current highest paid outside contributor is not anywhere near the hourly rate you demand. Additionally, a gentleman of the highest professional esteem with credentials that far surpass those of 99.9% of professionals in New York did not come remotely close to your fee in his earnest efforts to get involved with our company and helping our team succeed. Our lives as entrepreneurs (and perhaps I speak on behalf of all entrepreneurs), would be much more rewarding if business interactions were more in line with the gentleman of whom I refer.
You may sincerely feel that your contribution in exchange for your suggested fee is entirely worthwhile. I address your email in this manner because I confidently feel that this is simply not the way business should be, especially as entrepreneurs who need the sincere support of talented professionals in efforts to create a meaningful business. With pity, I will suggest that just maybe you have the most sincere interests in mind and that this ‘business practice’ has simply become so apparent in today’s world that your approach is inherent. Additionally, I in no way suggest that you have carried ill intentions in any of your past or present dealings. I simply reply quite transparently to the very immediate and unwavering convictions of our team.
Mike, please take this email as statement that our company will decline your offer of services. If the future proves fateful towards a future dialog, we hope the encounter will be one that is reflective of the convictions of our company as stated herein. We are grateful for your communication insomuch as it is a show of confidence in our enterprise. As for our immediate progression, I suggest that our professional communication end with this email and any further communication should and will be on a personal and amicable manner. This includes your monthly entrepreneurial workshops, of which I respectfully decline participation.
Best regards,
Tarek
“Don’t let the worst of you get the best of you.”
A 300 Year Old Lesson in Morality & Politics
I’ve been reading Gulliver’s Travels (c.1726) on my iPhone when I commute in and around NYC/Brooklyn. I had way too much on my mind as I was reading Part II, Chapter 6 and finished the chapter before realizing I didn’t remember anything. But something stuck as important that deserves rereading.
So after meeting with @marksbirch and co. @ Crocodile Lounge, I ventured back on the subway and reread the chapter. It was amazing and all of you should read it, live it, apply it, & share it.
So, I cut out the first boring parts about assembling furniture out of human hair (he is currently in the land of Giants) & playing instruments. I begin where our protagonist prepares to discuss the nature of life & politics in his native England.
The ending quote is particularly gratifying…but don’t read it first.
Gulliver’s Travels - Part II, Chapter 6
Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of England, which the author relates to him. The king’s observations thereon.
…..
The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, “that the contempt he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we observed in our country, that the tallest persons were usually the least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service.” The king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired “I would give him as exact an account of the government of England as I possibly could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might deserve imitation.”
Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to its merits and felicity.
I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an English parliament; partly made up of an illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described that extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.
That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is committed.
I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in England for about a hundred years past.
This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions he intended to ask me.
When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, “What methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives; had never been compliers with the times, while they were common priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were admitted into that assembly?”
He then desired to know, “What arts were practised in electing those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, without any salary or pension? because this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.”
And he desired to know, “Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?” He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, “What time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics, were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received any pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the lower senate?”
He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, “he thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private person.” He asked me, “who were our creditors; and where we found money to pay them?” He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable and expensive wars; “that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be richer than our kings.” He asked, what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?” Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, “if we were governed by our own consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion, whether a private man’s house might not be better defended by himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?”
He laughed at my “odd kind of arithmetic,” as he was pleased to call it, “in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.” He said, “he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials.”
He observed, “that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time it employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon others?”
He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of our affairs during the last century; protesting “it was only a heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition, could produce.”
His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: “My little friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required toward the procurement of any one station among you; much less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love of their country; or counsellors for their wisdom.
As for yourself,” continued the king, “who have spent the greatest part of your life in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.”
